Bound For The Screen?
Sydney Morning Herald
Thursday May 23, 1996
Jane Austen and William Shakespeare have been sliced, diced and julienned by Hollywood. But where to now? Metro leaps once more into the breach with some books we'd love to see Tinsel Town turn into blockbusters.
Aesop's Fables. Directed by Robert Altman and starring everyone in Hollywood. The moral to the story is don't cast people with no morals.
The Unusual Life of Tristram Smith. Starring Dustin "I'm an excellent driver" Hoffman as the mangled dwarf Smith. But would there be enough physical disabilities for Dustin?
The Hand That Signed The Paper. No need to make anything up, it's already been done. Meryl Streep as young Helen (yes, she is too old, but who else will get the accent right?), Ralph Fiennes as one of the dastardly uncles.
Hayden: An Autobiography: Starring Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men.
Women Who Run With Wolves. Starring anyone who has dated Mickey Rourke.
Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Starring Courtney Love as the town bike.
Foucault's Pendulum. Try to pitch a book that can't even be explained by people who have read it. Keanu Reeves and Linda Gray are the only two stars with the intellect to explain the unexplainable.
Geoffrey Boycott's biography. Starring William Baldwin as his bat, Elle Macpherson as the stumps.
© 1996 Sydney Morning Herald